For the Doms: The Importance of Consent in BDSM

For the Doms: The Importance of Consent in BDSM

The basic concept of consent is simple, and most men think they understand it, but as a Dom chances are you may not be taking it far enough.

Somewhat shockingly, basic consent is still a topic which needs to be brought up, talked about, and taught. Go to any club in any part of America and you will find someone being touched in a way they didn’t invite or want. read more…

Leave the Old You Behind: Become the Dominant Man She Needs

Leave the Old You Behind: Become the Dominant Man She Needs

Did your girl ask you to dominate her, but you fear you’re going to hurt her, or don’t know where to start?

This is, bar none, the most common reason men will seek out advice and coaching for BDSM. To one degree or another, the majority of women in the world are sexually submissive. The ones who crave to be dominated will at some point tell their man it’s what they want. They may say it in little hints, asking you to tie them up or choke them. They may come right out and say they want you to dominate them, force them to serve, and please you, as your sub.

Some men will tie up their girl, thinking that’s what they wanted, and maybe crank up the dirty talk. Other’s won’t even get that far. But just being tied to the bed is not what she needs or wants, she needs you to dominate her, emotionally and physically. read more…

How to Be a Dom: The Honest Approach

How to Be a Dom: The Honest Approach

To be a great Dom and have a strong, healthy, relationship it’s imperative to make honesty the focal point of every interaction you have.

The most common reason most relationships, vanilla and kink alike, fail is a lack of honesty. Just about every single movie or TV show with relationship drama could have been completely avoided if the couple had just been honest from outset. Unfortunately it seems the “only as honest as I need to be” mentality is seen as the standard.

If you want to be a great Dom, you need to make honesty your number one priority. read more…

How to be a Dom: Orders and Rules

How to be a Dom: Orders and Rules

One of the most common topics dominant men want to talk to me about are the rules for their submissive, more specifically what rules to create, what rules to avoid, and how to enforce them.

The entire concept of the D/s dynamic is a relationship built around a ruleset. Some of these rules are inherent to the dynamic, while the others are enforced as a reaction to it. It’s crucial to understand the goal of these rules to avoid making mistakes along the way.

I am a proponent of honest dynamics. What I mean by this is I, personally, am only interested in truly honest reactions and interactions with a sub. To push a sub’s limits, you need to have enough information to know exactly where her limits lie, and how you can push on them in a positive, beneficial manner. The more information you have, the more able you will be to accomplish this, and the greatest source of information from your sub will always be interactions, honest to the core. read more…

Fifty Shades of Grey: What it means for Dominant Men

Fifty Shades of Grey: What it means for Dominant Men

Fifty Shades of Grey is out there in movie form, it’s about to be absorbed by millions, and absorbed once again by many millions more. But what does this mean to you?

There are countless articles around about 50 Shades, which is why I have refrained from writing about it. But this evening I was thinking about what the story means to us Dom men of the world, and that is something worth writing about.

Before I get into this, let’s go over everything you need to know about the book. read more…

An Introduction to BDSM: How to be a Dom

An Introduction to BDSM: How to be a Dom

It’s possible to enjoy your kinks in a way which not only makes you a gentleman, but makes you more desirable to women.

Everyone has their own kinks, fetishes, fantasies, and desires. The degree in which you push these is the main thing which separates the freaks from the vanilla. The first step in all of this is to accept the kinks you have and begin to be honest and mature about them. If you are unable to have an open discussion about your fetishes, it’s almost certain you are not capable of exploring them safely.

read more…